I wish I had taken a semester abroad when I was in school. I wish I had finished my studies , when I had the time for it. I wish I had studied something for my personality. I wish I had done more stupid things. I wish I had told my opinion in the face more often. I wish I went out that night. I wish I had stayed at home the other night. I wish I had told you my true feelings. I wish I hadn’t given up too soon. I wish I had been honest with you. I wish I had not feared the consequences. I wish I had tried. The older I get , the more often begin my sentences with “I wish I had …”.
Over the years, the mistakes, the missed and lost opportunities grow and sometime you stand there, at this point in your life and know that you could had lived, but you didn’t. The moment, so short and fleeting, was there and might had changed everything. Maybe. Maybe not. But I will never know.
Then I tell myself cheap excuses like “I had no money” or “I was mentally unstable” what means basically that I was too scared. And actually, I know that if I had really made an effort, I would have done it. And if not, then I would had tried at least and learned a lot about myself.
“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” Oscar Wilde
I remember when the turning point came one day. I had lost everything. And it was the best thing that could happen to me, because from that moment on I was no longer afraid of anything. I was no longer afraid, because I didn’t felt myself. I have made my best and my worst experiences tsince then. But anyway it has changed me fundamentally. My sentences were from now on “I’ll do it somehow”, “Okay, why not?” and “I’ll try it and see how far I can get.” Mostly. But then more and more often. Why not? Sometimes we should just take the opportunities that come our way. Even if they are connected to work. Even if it’s stressful. Even if we do not know if these opportunities turn good into lucky handles. We should listen to our feelings and less on others. We should just do it.
“Opportunities multiply as they are seized” Sun Tzu Sometimes I still think “I wish I had …. ” and want to hear this sentence ever again..