31. Weekly Update



The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are.
The second greatest is being happy with what you find.

Emotional Chaos 1000
As some of you already know, it’s mostly the private stuff that costs me a lot of nerves. Luckily, I’m just about to start my travel season, which will hopefully distract me from some of the things that are happening here. 3 consecutive months in Berlin was more than enough, and I’m looking forward to the next 2 months big time. First I’ll head to Copenhagen for Fashion week, which starts next week. It’ll be my third time in the Danish capital, and so far Copenhagen Fashion Week has always been a highlight for me, both in terms of fashion es well as on a personal level. Only the weather worries me a little. But can it be that much worse than what we have in Berlin right now? I doubt it. Either way, I have a wardrobe full of (partly) very colorful clothes and intend face the grayness with bravado.
The next destination after Copenhagen will be New York, also this month. I’m heading there for a TV project which has finally received green light – but I can’t tell you much about it just yet. We’ll start shooting in September. I am not at liberty to discuss it yet, so my lips are sealed – but it’s soooo difficult to keep it all to myself. I am looking forward SO MUCH!
At the same time I’m a bit annoyed with the irony of fate: it seems like whenever the professional side of my life is in full flow and runs smoothly, it’s somehow not going so well in the private sphere – and vice versa. Actually, maybe that’s a good thing that one sphere of my live always seems to compensate for the other. I am doing my best to see the bright side, as you see :)


I’m not quite sure why, but recently I went out of my way to take care of old and dormant relationships, and to mend old rifts. Maybe you noticed. It wasn’t so much about revicing old friendships, more about resolving old misunderstandings, quarrels and open situations. I really don’t know why this is so important right now, I just know it is.
Back in the day I didn’t dare to speak the truth openly, for fear of baring my inner self. Instead I avoided conflicts wherever I could. Often I simply dropped matters. Now I see that all that’s really needed is honesty, to say openly what’s on your mind, even if it’s difficult. I wanted a clean slate, to start afresh somehow. But it doesn’t seem to work that easily. Most of my tender attempts to reach out are met with rejection, polite but firm. I feel misunderstood.
Why is that, I wonder. Why is it not possible to meet on equal terms after years of healthy distance? You know, like grown-ups. Are the wounds that deep? Did I cause that much destruction? What else could be the reason that some people are so afraid of meeting me?
Whatever it is, I have to learn to really close this chapter and let go. Without saying anything out loud, just for myself.

Planet of the Apes
Honestly, I have to say it was a bit too much for me. Heaps of dead apes, angry humans, and definitely way too much gore and violence. While the film definitely makes you think, and even packs a couple of funny scenes, it felt like a punch in the gut that I still felt many hours after leaving the cinema. I’m probably too soft for film like this one, but if you love dystopian scenarios and if you’re not necessarily out for a happy end, you should definitely give it a go – ideally in 3D, which makes the whole vibe of the movie even more intense!

‚Many people say you are spoilt, not ready to perform, and that you want too much. And that is true – but so was everyone else before you, and then they forgot. I think you are much more honest than I used to be. You cut straight to the point in the first interview: home office, flexible hours, free leave to compensate for overtime.
And the thing that most aggravates your bosses, who all still adhere to the old school of leadership, is your tendency to question everything, constantly, over and over again. Being a superior (boss, professor…) no longer automatically means to be in the right.‘

I read this letter recently (unfortunately in German only), written by a university professor. I was touched by the words he directed at his students. He is so right. I don’t want to spoiler it for you, give it a read and enjoy the smile this letter will bring to your generation Y face.

In the most recent episode I was in relatively subdued mood, and my talks with Lisa was pretty emotional. Both of us are facing small crises in our respective lives. We’re stuck somehow, no way forward, no way back. Out of the blue, we both independently plunged into some kind of identity crisis. And that’s exactly what we talk about :)

Fotos: Fee-Gloria Groenemeyer

August 6, 2017

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15 Kommentare

  1. I will share a little story with you; a friend and I had a fight, bitter words have never been exchanged face to face, however, we haven’t talked in 5 years. I saw her online on facebook the other day and send her a message that I’ll always remember her with love and wish her all the best. She never replied, however, I am happy she didn’t, I said my piece and that relationship has to stay in the past. It helped so much, I am extremely happy after that, write them a message say what you have to say but accept some relationships will never rekindle.

    P.S Loving the stories from Copenhagen, thanks so much for introducing me to Stina Goya brand!
    Love from https://tbymallano.com/

    1. Awwww thank you! <3

      yeah it was more or less the same. Fortunately most replied, but some I wish wouldn’t. For example, I wrote a letter to an old friend and got a super bad massage afterwards :( so sad!

      1. Hm is it a crime you committed?! Nobody is perfect honestly, we all make mistakes and if some of our friends don’t want to give second chances then it has something to do with them. Perhaps remembering the worst about us makes them feel better about themselves. If that’s the case by any means let them.

        Ever yours,

  2. Reaching out to people we have lost can be very rewarding but also very pointless and painful – I remember oh too well some people I have missed dearly after falling out with them over nothing years later and them never answering my call to reconcile. Being a grown up sucks, I guess.

    1. Hi Sandra,

      ja easy :) Mittlerweile kommt mir NY auch gar nicht mehr so weit vor, nach den ganzen Monsterflügen, die ich absolviert habe :D
      Der September dagegen wird abartig stressig….. :O

  3. I also have difficulty healing the wounds from my past relationships. Especially because I know it wouldn’t be best to contact the other person. Even if has been years. I had to learn that I just have to forgive myself/ and or the other party without having it acknowledged by them. I wish you all the best with your personal life and I hope you are able to either resolve the problems your experiencing.

    Natalie | Natalie’s Alchemy

  4. It always seems strange to me when people don’t want to talk things out. Even if tons of years have passed. One would think that it’ll all go like „oh hey, it’s fine, it’s been ages since that! No hard feelings“, but apparently some people hold grudges even through the years.