I took a joyful little trip down memory lane just now and looked up some texts and pics I posted on previous birthdays.
I was almost surprised to see how little there was on those particular days, no long texts, no long and winding trains of thought. On the other hand I found it quite fitting, after all I’m not someone to make a big thing out of my birthday. Well, I no longer am. In fact, my birthday has pretty much become a day like any other. Which, in my case is not a bad thing at all – barely a day goes by in my life that resembles any other I lived through. Thinking about my past birthdays it feels like they just happened yesterday, and at the same time they seem an eternity away.
One year later, and the questions are the same.
How much did I cram into these 365 days?
How many amazing countries did I have the chance to visit, how many interesting texts did I write for the blog?
How much did I grow?
How many experiences did I gather along the way?
And did I reach my goals?
I turn 28 today.
At an earlier point in my life I would have said this is the limit. I wasn’t going to age from 28 onwards. Today I have become a good bit more relaxed about it all, in fact I welcome every new year of my life.
Life has been amazing to me in the past few years. I have already come farther than I ever hoped to dream. I am getting more relaxed as the years go by, more sure of myself and, to my eyes, prettier. I found my style and, well, I just like myself more today than I used to. And I believe this inner state also informs my outer appearance. There’s a very easy way to sum it all up: I am getting happier with every year that passes.
I do have everything that I could wish for: an amazing family, a wonderful man by my side, a fantastic home, the best job in the world, and on top of it I’m healthy.
What else could I ask for?
Ok, so there is one thing: Time.
How often I hear myself start sentences with the phrase ‘If I had more time…’.
It seems that time is accelerating, and the older I get, the faster the hands on the clock appear to move. Time – it is so fleeting, and I don’t always manage to hold on to it as it runs through my fingers. Time has become the most precious commodity in my life: time for my friends, time for my family, time for my job and, yes, time for myself. Time has become so scarce. It is lacking everywhere.
I have the permanent feeling of missing out on something, of letting something, someone, some kind of opportunity slide.
My wish this year is to have time.
Time is relative, as Einstein said.
It sure is!
I’m going to gift myself more breaks this year, more moments of calm between the hectic and crazy stretches. I won’t always need to be somewhere, attend the next event, go on the next trip. Sometimes the most fulfilling moments are those spent at home.
That said, I already know for a fact that I am entering another intensive year of my life. I’m curious what my 29 year old self will have to say about it, looking back in a year’s time.
And since it’s an honored tradition, I also have an outfit for you – quite colorful today, to welcome the spring, and to celebrate the occasion :)