Together we are stronger.
I used to feel like a pot without a lid.
Like one of those colorful pots that look nice and decorative, but somehow come in a weird size.
The truth is, I am not an easy case.
I am impatient, get bored quickly, I am fierce and I love freedom.
How was I going to find a partner that puts up with me and my quirks? A partner that I wouldn’t toy around with just because I can.
In other words, a partner that lives up to the meaning of the word?
Well, and then I met my boyfriend – battle seasoned, confident and also protective of his freedom. A man who made me feel straight away that he sees me as a challenge and is not afraid. ‘Maybe’, I remember thinking to myself, ‘maybe this will lead somewhere’.
And it did.
Life has taught us that Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
‘What’s the secret of your relationship?’
In my opinion, one prerequisite for a good relationship is good partnership. A good relationship is one where you meet the other eye to eye. But what exactly does that mean?
To me it means taking the space you need, and giving your partner the space they need.
We both love our independence
– and yet we are a team.
We live our own lives
– and yet we’re there for each other.
We support each other and have each other’s back
– but without losing ourselves in the process.
But living in a relationship in Berlin in this digital day and age can be very challenging indeed. Most people I know are pretty focussed on themselves, few are up for investing time and energy in a relationship, not least because one is constantly surrounded with potential new partners in this city.
And maybe that’s part of a bigger problem: we do not live real relationships anymore, we consume other people.
Our generation craves unconditional love, we want to be accepted with all our flaws and quirks. But ask yourself – are you ready to give what you wish to receive?
Do you love your partner unconditionally, do you forgive them their mistakes, do their flaws maybe even make you love them more?
And I’m not talking about things like protruding ears or shopping addictions, I am talking about genuine flaws like moodiness or tardiness. Or how he loves that joke that you think is really fucked up. No one is perfect, and we all know it. So how come we set the bar higher for our partners than for ourselves? And if they don’t live up to our expectations we move on, consumer someone else.
But real partnership is never confined to consumption or putting each other on pedestals.
It is about loyalty, understanding und love.
So, what is love, then?
Can the feeling be described at all, is it even the same thing for any two people?
I feel love when my boyfriend congratulates me to a deal or success instead of trying to keep me small. I feel love seeing that my boyfriend brings me to the airport whenever humanly possible, just because he wants to support me in living my dream.
I feel love when we eat dinner together and tell each other about our days and our wishes, completely forgetting about our phones and the world outside.
I feel love when I tell my boyfriend about my worries and troubles, and he smiles at me and says: ‘we’ll find a way.’
My partner makes me stronger.
He has my back and my anchor in troubled waters.
That’s the secret of strong partnership: it should not feel like an added weight, if it’s real it makes you stronger, more free and more independent.
I feel lucky to be able to say this:
with my partner on my side I am stronger than on my own.
Together we are stronger!
That is also the message behind a new fragrance by Armani, created as an homage to the modern 21st century power couple. Both partners see eye to eye, both are strong and confident. It is a scent for a couple that grows with its love everyday, without sacrificing independence and free spirit.
It is the perfect scent for us.
In collaboration with Armani
Last but not least I had an interview with James Jagger and Matilda Lutz, the faces of the new Armani campaign.
Masha: One of the main themes with this campaign is the 21st century love story, how does a typical love story in the 21st century look like for you?
James: I mean I have a really negative one. So maybe you should go.
Matilda: I know a positive one, so I think it’s a combination of admiration and respect. I think the key for a good relationship is communication. And I don’t think it’s the 21st century relationship.
James: Yeah, that’s what I mean, the 21st century is like people stalking each other on social media. I don’t do much of these social media things in generous,
Masha: What makes love solid for you in the world of tinder?
James: I think that’s the problem with this being able to sit outside of your own world, you suddenly have a portal to this cyber world, so everyone has his hidden kind of expectations. I think the most important thing in any relationship is that you kind of keeping it fresh, and exciting. And I think if you ever had a kind of love relationship, you can always get back there. Love never dies, you just change or maybe loose the afford. It’s about give and take.
Masha: In your mind how does a modern woman look like? Or a modern man?
James: I think confidence is really important and also individuality, because we we’re touching on earlier, there are so many things, we have so many influence and so much to take in every single day, so you need to keep the competence to be who you are and to not follow ahead and have a sence of individuality. When someone keeps to be himself, that’s super attractive.
Matilda: I think confidence is what I search in a guy, and kindness, but I feel like you should always be your own person in your relationship and never loose what the other person fell in love with. And then for me it’s like growing together, so every day you try to be a better person. But the two individuals have to do that and then you grow together. Otherwise is like a scale that is not balanced.
Masha: SO do you think we lost individuality in this world?
James: It’s like life on steroids now, is like everything is so much quicker and much faster. And time of trends, it’s so easy to be a kid from the countryside and you have access to all of these trends. So I think it’s so much easier for us to like follow the head or make decision on what you think is the best thing to do. It’s kind of wrong and sad. It’s sad that people loose what makes them interesting and what makes people from certain areas individual. This planet is turning into a whole planet of humanisation.
Matilda: I think it’s about picking and choosing. We have so much information and you can’t generalise, but…
Masha:… but that is what come also with the globalization.
Matilda: But there is some positive things about social media and media in general, where you can be informed about a lot of things, we couldn’t before.
James: Absolutely! One thing about social media, which I love, it’s allows every single person to hold the people accountable. If you live in Ecuador and you have known about the toxic waste in the waters there, and you might just be a little farmer and you have a homepage or a Facebook account, you can tell the whole world. And that’s a beautiful thing.
Masha: What does it take for you to fall in love for somebody?
James: A bottle of tequila? No, I’m kidding.
Matilda: I think it’s a combination of things. I think it’s also timing. Some people that you probably met at different times would never…
James: Yeah, you have to be ready to fall in love…
Matilda: The time when you think you’re not ready that’s usually when you fall in love!
Masha: …And when you give up and say, ok I will be forever alone! And then you find someone
Matilda: You have to be yourself and keep confidence, and that is what people like about you.
James: If you hate yourself, it’s very unlikely someone will fall in love with you. I think it’s really important that you have timing and some certain aspects of confidence, and just being and living yourself and knowing yourself. It’s a really attractive quality.
Masha: I was expecting something like humour or so …
Matilda: That’s true! For me it’s important to laugh.
James: Yeah, I think humour and I also think that intelligence is very important to me. When I see someone who impressed me and they is intelligent, it’s a challenging each other. That’s how she said, you have to grow together, that what’s happens in the film you have to keep things new and exciting, otherwise…
It doesn’t matter how passionate you are, if you don’t try and work on this, it’s not gonna work at all.
Masha: That’s true! One last question: The perfect chat-up line?
Matilda: Is that like to pick up?..
Matilda: I don’t pick up.
Masha: You been picked up!
Matilda: You’re cute, do you want to have a drink? Yes: wink! No: do a backflip!
James: For me it’s just cheesy…
Masha: But I guess, a woman has picked you up somehow…
James: Well, yeah… I mean no! In England it’s something like a pervy thing! If someone says a line like a line, it’s like there not being themselves.
Masha: Ok, I see. Then what would be the perfect conversation? I mean for all the girls there outside they have to know how they can pick you up!
James: You know I think it’s just like the perfect chat-up line for me is you want a drink? I’m like yeah!
And if you go from… You just have to break the ice somehow, its all so cheesy. If I would have growing up in the 70s, maybe I would have like then really cheesy lines, like how do you feed here? But I would never even go close to saying such a line, also I’m really shy. I need to collect all my confidence to just say hi!
Masha: Also after two drinks?
James: Three, no.
Matilda: But then you don’t remember what you said!
Masha: Cool! Thank you for the fun interview!