You know what? It’s been quite a while since I last posted some…
Tome to do something about it!
I remember a time when it felt like I’m posting random facts pretty much every week, but more recently I kind of lost sight of this segment. Well, I found myself thinking about it again, and since I had some time on my hand on the plane I decided to not waste any time. Without further ado, here are a bunch of random facts for you:
1. When I’m nervous I start fiddling around with my nails.
Even though I (almost) completely kicked the annoying habit of chewing on my nails, I still haven’t managed to stop playing around with them, usually until one tears. One of my main vices is nibbling on the nail polish. I really have no explanation for it other than it somehow gives me a weird sense of satisfaction, especially in exhausting or boring situations. I’m glad I’m not chewing on them anymore, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to kick the habit of scraping and scratching them. Sadly, my nails really show it.
I need my home to be tidy.
I’m somehow super tidy and messy at the same time. I have no problem with leaving my plate on the table after breakfast or dinner, and am not too bothered with clothes lying around for a little while, but I have to tidy up my place at least once a day. I need a sense of order at home. I really don’t like a mess, and having everything in it’s place at home makes me feel like I have my stuff together. When it’s messy I get really tense and get overwhelmed by the feeling that I’m losing control of my life – which in those moments is often not too far from the truth. Whenever I come back from a Fashion Week stint I go straight to cleaning before I have the headspace to move on with other things.
I can’t sleep on my back.
I can sleep when it’s super noisy, and my slumber is not affected by light. I sleep well even in emotionally stressful periods, no problem. But I can’t sleep in the wrong position. I am completely incapable of sleeping on my back or – much worse – sitting up. I admire people who can, like some friends of mine who I saw dozing off in planes before we even took off. You’d think I got used to sleeping wherever I can, with all the traveling I’m doing, but sadly that’s not the case. There’s only one position for me: on my stomach, or in rare cases on the side. It’s SUCH a pain in the neck!
Blazer | Iris & Ink
Sweater | Revolve
Shoes | OXS
Bag | Lili Radu
Pants | Zara
Bracelet | Saint Laurent
I love alien documentaries.
Talking about going to bed: my favorite thing to watch before going to sleep are alien documentaries on N24 (a German news and info channel). I love how these shows hover comfortably between fact and fiction. It’s a bit like having someone read a fairy tale to you, isn’t it?
I don’t like to talk about my job
Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE my job. I just don’t enjoy talking about it very much. Conversations often start with the question what I’m doing professionally, especially in contexts where I don’t seem to blend in, at least on first sight, at certain events, say, or while traveling. And when I reply I am a fashion blogger, I often look into blank faces. Understandably, people get curious and want to know more about what exactly I am doing. But my job is such an integral part of my life that I am sometimes just glad to not have to talk about it. You know, sometimes I wanna do other stuff too. Moreover, I noticed that in such situations I often get the feeling of ’not belonging‘, especially when I am reduced to my looks or my age. No one likes to be categorized.
There are also situations where it can be uncomfortable to talk about my work because I am aware that it can easily come across as bragging. Of course it sounds impressive when I talk about some clients I worked with or some destinations I travelled to. The aspect of all that hard work that goes into it is often lost, which can make it quite tricky to have an eye-to-eye conversation. But I guess it’s not that unusual.
I mean, who really likes to talk about their job?
Photos: Theresa Kaindl
I hold grudges
Another bad trait I guess. Having said that, it’s one that protected me from repeating mistakes more than once. I have certain boundaries that I won’t have anone cross, and if they do I hold terrible grudges to the point that I am capable of ending a friendship on the spot, even if it was a long and intense one. Some things I just cannot tolerate, for example divulging intimate secrets or venting frustration or anger publicly without discussing it with me privately first.
I won’t tolerate backstabbing either, nor do I have much patience for people that take friendships for granted. Generally speaking, my tolerance limit is very high though, I don’t mind it much if someone forgets a date or is unreliable. I also don’t have a problem if anyone prioritizes themselves, but I just can’t accept a breach of trust. In such cases I can be really hard, even if the person expresses regret I can find it very difficult to forgive. You know, in those situations I can’t shake the suspicion that what happened once will happen twice, and I don’t want to set myself up for disappointments if I can avoid it. Sometimes that’s that, and that’s all there is to it.
I’m not a touchy-feely person.
This is another one where I’m a bit ambiguous. On the one hand I really like certain kinds of physical closeness like sex or massages, but most of the time I’m not really up for physical contact. I think I’m a bit like a cat: while I love being caressed and pampered (I’d purr if I could), but I really have to be in the mood.
I’m not a huge fan of embraces, and I also don’t really like cuddling all that much. Basically, I’m not huge on expressing emotions through physical contact, but I’m totally cool with everything that falls under physical needs. I guess it takes me a while to really build emotional connections, and to really let someone into my heart. I’m not that big a fan of superficial niceties in my private life either, which is often misinterpreted as arrogance, especially in group situations.
In the past couple of years I gradually learned to handle it a bit better, to suppress my natural instincts, so to speak. In the fashion industry you simply have to be ok with superficialities. Still, there’s quite a significant difference between my professional self, the girl who can wear a smile whenever she needs to, and the real Masha, who sometimes needs a couple of meetings and real, deep conversations before opening up. I am a cat.
I have trouble remembering names, faces and birthdays.
This is a really embarassing one, and as far as personal weaknesses goes it’s a real pain in the ass. I frequently end up in uncomfortable situations because of it. I just can’t remember people very well, and so far I haven’t found a way to get better at it. Of course it also depends on whether I have an emotional connection with the person, even if it’s a lose one. You know, sometimes a cup of coffee together can be enough, or even a superficial chat at the airport, but more than once I didn’t remember someone even though I already had dinner with them at some point. Sometimes people have to introduce themselves several times (and vice versa) before I start to remember their faces.
What can I say, it’s really not great, and I’m aware that it can be quite hurtful. It is what it is though. I meet new people pretty much every day, and somehow my filter has become too permeable. I will say, though, that I am doing my best and have learned to deal with my weakness. I cover up when necessary and give my very best to meet people consciously. It really comes from a point of respect as well, I believe everyone has the right to be remembered!
Meine Lieblingssorte ist grüner Apfel.
Immer. Egal ob bei Äpfeln, Süßigkeiten oder Säften: diese perfekte Mischung aus süß und sauer – ich LIEBE es.
I am able to say I’m sorry
After spilling the bean on some of my less flattering character traits, let’s talk about a good one. Nobody is perfect, least of all me, and I am fully aware of that. I can be moody, say something mean from time to time, or I can be plain wrong about something, but when I realise that I messed up I apologize. We all make mistakes, but I believe it’s really important to get an understanding of what went wrong, and to offer a sincere apology to the person I may have wronged. It’s just basic respect and appreciation, and those, if you ask me, are central to living a reasonable life.
Conversely, it really ticks me off if others can’t apologize when they messed up. I don’t like it when people beat around the bush and basically signal to me that they know they messed up but then try to restore the balance by finding fault in me rather than offering a straight apology. I will openly admit that it took me a while to learn this myself, no one likes to get over themselves, and apologizing can be difficult. But I make a point of doing it whenever it is called for, and I consider that one of my better qualities :)